back in february, i met this girl in my art class who seemed to be a genuinely funny and supportive person. her way of caring for others is physical comfort, specifically hugs, and i found that to be really special. you never or very rarely find those sorta people in life, most especially in your freshmen year of high school. she started sitting by me and talked about anything or nothing while doing whatever art project that was assigned. she told me about her backstory with her family and her struggles with autism and being intersexual.

everything was going well, until about a week into this friendship when out of nowhere, boom. one of my friends contacts me and says "hey, this girl's got a crush on you."

suddenly, the intensity of the situation has dawned upon me. i've only had one other crush who was a manipulating stalker and wanted nothing but attention, so i was met with my first real crush. in freshman year.

i talked to some of her old exes, to which i was met with nothing but shitty comments about her and how she's not who she appears to be and that she does not in fact have autism or is even intersexual. it was all coming full circle. this whole situation sounded like a fucking joke, and i was left with a losing battle with myself: a brutal inner conflict between staying with this girl or ditching her completely.

she eventually opened up to me about being my crush some time later, and i quite literally replied with nothing. not a single word. it was too much for me and i started becoming really quiet in that class with her. i didn't know how to act or what to do. a group of my friends who happened to date her at one point are all telling me she's full of bullshit. how am i supposed to deal with this?

it's now a new school year. i'm a sophomore now and she's a junior. all of her exes are talking with her again. i'm still confused as fuck and want answers. she asked me to homecoming recently. i said no.